Day 89: Grit

April 6, 2025

Photo by Brad Neathery on Unsplash

It’s day 89 since this cancer journey began.

In some ways, it feels like a blur, those early days moved fast. Diagnosis, appointments, scans, port placement, treatment plans. It was a whirlwind of information and decisions, one after another. It seemed we barely had time to catch our breath before the next decision.

Now that we’re a little deeper into the process, time feels different. The treatment itself seems to stretch on, slower and more deliberate. Each round brings its own rhythm. The urgency of the beginning has given way to a long-haul mindset.

But here’s the thing: I’m still confident. Confident in my treatment plan, and more importantly, in the team that surrounds me. My doctors, nurses, and caregivers have been incredible. They know their stuff, and they also know how to care like humans, not just professionals.

I’ve learned to trust the process, even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it feels slow. and I’m learning to be patient with myself, too.

Medical Update – Round 4: One-Third of the Way Through

We’ve just wrapped up the fourth round of chemotherapy, which means I’m officially one-third of the way through this journey! It feels kind of surreal to say that. On one hand, it still feels like we just started, but on the other, every single treatment has been its own mountain to climb. Hitting this milestone brings a strange mix of relief, fatigue, and cautious optimism.

This week also included a couple more doses of Nivestym. My care team has been monitoring my bloodwork closely, and the results have been encouraging enough to justify two shots instead of three. Knowing that the treatment is having a positive effect helps me power through it. Seeing improvement in numbers gives me something concrete to hold onto, especially on days when things feel uncertain.

I have a PET scan scheduled for the end of the week, which will give us a more detailed look at how things are progressing. It’s the kind of test that carries both hope and nerves in equal measure. I want to believe we’re on the right track, and at the same time, I know that scans bring their own kind of emotional weight. So I’m taking it one day at a time.

Physically, I’m doing okay. I’m definitely tired, but it’s a manageable kind of tired. It’s the sort of fatigue that reminds me my body is doing serious, behind-the-scenes work. I took most of the weekend to slow way down, doing almost nothing but resting, reading, and letting my system recharge. Sometimes, doing "nothing" is the most important thing you can do. I’m learning to honor that, even if it goes against my usual instinct to push through.

Let’s Talk About Grit

A few years ago, I read Grit by Angela Duckworth. It stuck with me. She defines grit as a blend of passion and perseverance, the ability to stay committed to something long-term, even when it gets really hard, and even when there’s no guarantee of success. It’s about resilience, endurance, and showing up over and over again.

One quote from the book that has stayed with me is this:

“Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out... not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years.”

This week, I saw that kind of grit in all three of my boys.

Noah has spent the last few months focused and determined. He rehabbed after an injury, rebuilt his strength, and trained hard with a single goal in mind: to earn a spot on the Christopher Newport University track team. Last weekend, he ran as an unaffiliated runner. Just him against the clock. And he did it! His time earned him a place on the team. Next weekend, he’ll officially compete at the Dennis Craddock Coaches Classic in Lynchburg, running both Friday and Saturday in the 400 meter and the 4 x 400 meter relay events. It’s the kind of moment that looks like a breakthrough from the outside, but I know it was all built on months of quiet, unseen effort.

Gabriel, who is currently a Second Class Cadet at the United States Coast Guard Academy, is also showing his own quiet strength. Amidst his demanding academic and military responsibilities, he’s been training all year to compete again in the world of natural bodybuilding. He made his debut last year, and next weekend he’ll step on stage at the OCB Blaze of Glory Pro Qualifier. It’s been a long, disciplined road: late night workouts, strict nutrition, nonstop commitments, and he’s followed it with unwavering focus. His determination is incredible, and I’m so proud of how he’s balanced it all.

And then there’s Ethan.

Ethan is in a different kind of race right now, one that’s quieter, often lonelier, and doesn’t come with finish lines or medals. He’s been looking for an entry-level job in IT during a pretty tough time in the job market. It hasn’t been easy. I see the weight he carries, the frustration that comes with sending out résumé after résumé and not hearing back. But he keeps grinding. He’s been taking certification courses to stay current, learning new technologies and building up his skill set. This takes grit too. A different kind, but just as real, just as important. What’s more, he’s been an incredible support to me through all of this. Whether I need physical help around the house or a ride to an appointment, Ethan is there. Always steady, always willing. He probably doesn’t even realize how much that means to me, but I do. I see it. And I’m so grateful.

Grit shows up in different forms, in different seasons, and in different people. But the common thread is always the same, showing up when it’s hard. Pushing forward when the road feels long. Believing that your effort matters, even if it doesn’t always get noticed right away.

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Thank you for showing up here, for reading, for caring. Every message, every bit of encouragement means the world. A big virtual hug to everyone who took the time to send pictures of Spring’s blossoms!

If there’s one thing I’ve learned and witnessed lately, it’s that grit is everywhere. It’s not just in the big, dramatic moments. It’s in the daily choices we make to keep moving forward, especially when no one is watching, especially when the finish line feels far away. The subject of my post last week, she showed grit.

So if you’re chasing something right now, whether it’s healing, a dream, a job, a new beginning, or just trying to get through the week, keep going. Your effort matters. Your resilience matters. Even when it feels slow. Even when it feels like no progress is happening. Keep showing up. Keep trying. Keep believing.

You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to keep doing it.

Grit looks different for everyone, but it’s always rooted in the same truth: that you are stronger than you think, and capable of more than you know.

So here’s my wish for you, may you find the strength to keep pushing toward the things that matter most to you. May you trust the process, even when it’s hard. And may you see, in your own way and in your own time, that all the little steps you’re taking are adding up to something meaningful.

Stay steady. Stay hopeful. Show your grit!