Day Nine - Finding Clarity Through Scars and Small Wins
January 16, 2025
The biopsy is scheduled for today at around 3:30 PM. There will be no food or drink until after that. Fingers crossed for smooth sailing. This biopsy feels like a turning point. They’re pulling tissue from under my left supraclavicular lymph node with the hope this gives us the answer we need to figure out how to fight it. It’s nerve-wracking and empowering all at once—a mix of fear and determination. At least we’ll have a more straightforward path forward, whatever the results.
The blood sticks are taking their toll; my arms and hands are bruised and could use a break. On the bright side, blood work is improving, so there’s that small win.
Many Friends, Many Thanks
By now, many of my friends and family know what I’m going through. I want to say thank you for being here. I’m not ready to put all this on social media just yet; this feels personal, something I want to keep close for a bit longer. Social media can sometimes feel black and fake—like it takes away the rawness and authenticity of moments like these. What I need right now is to hear from you—my friends who mean the world to me, whose words come from a place of true care and connection.
You are all remarkable, and your support keeps me going. This isn’t just my journey—it’s ours, and your presence means more than you know.
Edema: A Frustrating Challenge
Edema. What can I say? It’s a real motherf***er. For those unfamiliar, edema is swelling caused by fluid buildup, often affecting the feet, ankles, and calves. Here’s a bit more about what it entails:
What Is Edema?
Edema happens when excess fluid gets trapped in your body’s tissues, leading to noticeable swelling. It can occur in various body parts but is most common in the lower extremities due to gravity.
Why the Feet and Calves?
The feet and calves are particularly prone to edema because they are the farthest from the heart. Poor circulation, prolonged sitting or standing, or underlying health conditions can all contribute to fluid pooling in these areas.
Symptoms of Edema
Swelling in the feet, ankles, or legs
Tightness or a heavy feeling in the affected areas
Skin that appears stretched or shiny
Indentations left behind after pressing on the skin (pitting edema)
Coping With Edema
Managing edema isn’t easy, but a few strategies can help:
Elevating your legs: Resting with your legs raised above heart level can reduce fluid buildup.
Compression socks: These can help improve circulation and reduce swelling.
Hydration and diet: Staying hydrated and reducing sodium can prevent fluid retention.
Movement: Gentle walking or stretching can encourage circulation and help reduce swelling.
My DJ for Peace, Love, Music - DJRayDomingo
I started my morning by tuning in to my man @djraydomingo on Twitch. If you haven’t checked him out yet, do it. He’s not just a talented DJ but also an all-around great human. His store has some fantastic threads, too. I found him during the COVID-19 days, and he’s been a source of light and compassion ever since.
Hobbies
I am picking up a new hobby: crochet! My goal is to finish a blanket by the end of this journey. We’ll see how it goes, but it’s been a therapeutic way to pass the time.
For all the bookworms out there, my library friend Amy from Canada has offered to send me a list of suggestions to mix things up—a nice alternative to my Grover Cleveland deep dives. If you want to see her list, comment below, and she’ll hook you up with some fantastic recommendations.
On My Mind
On my mind: David Lynch. His movies cracked my brain open in ways I didn’t expect. They made me think and feel, and honestly, they hurt in the best way—like losing Prince.
And let’s not forget Bob Uecker. The man is a legend.
Back to the biopsy: two scars to add to the collection. Here’s hoping this gives us the answers we’re looking for.
We still have a long and winding road ahead. I know I’ll be up and down in my posts—some days will be lighter, others heavier. This is how it is, but I’m asking you to stay with me. Lift me up when I falter. I need you all—every single one of you—because you’ve impacted me in ways you may not even realize.
If you want to know how you’ve personally impacted me, ask. When I looked at the names of those I notified, it wasn’t random—it was with intent. You’ve been there for me at some point, and I carry that daily.
Thank you for being here, for walking this road with me. Let’s keep leaning on each other. We’ll make it through together. Until next time, stay kind, stay curious, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.